Coming soon the future or where the heck is my flying car

Coming Soon: The Future! or Where the Heck is My Flying Car?

I can recollect it like it was yesterday, it’s a beautiful spring day in 1993 and I was sitting in my 3rd grade study room. We received children’s science mags and deliberating all of the fantastic gizmos within that were due in, THE FUTURE! Bigger PCs, smaller computers ( and even less expensive ones ), cameras with small screens that showed the photograph you just snapped, strong games systems with-wait for it….16 BITS! Whatever those are! The one thing that really stuck with me though, was the automated vehicle. It had something similar to a GPS built in, where you would program in coordinates and the automobile would follow those directions. How it might sense other automobiles, traffic lights, and stop signs, I have no idea and it actually failed to cross my mind at the time. The vehicle was meant to start on it’s own and drive to your destination, essentially chaffering you. And for some unknown reason there would be a microwave in the dashboard. At the end of the outline was the sentence, Even a 7 year old would be in a position to drive! Why, I was seven! That meant when this vehicle came out in the near future, I would be in a position to get one! Happy, I awaited the day my fabulous automated auto would roll off the production line. And waited, and waited and here I’m seventeen years on and the nearest thing to an automatic car is a strip of highway in japan that uses magnets to drag your automobile.

I am not getting it. I am not now in the future, where’s all of the hi-tech stuff?

Corporations have been advertising all the amazing things they are going to be putting out in THE FUTURE since their inception, yet perhaps only 1 percent of them ever reach the general public. More if they’re heavily redesigned. Why advertise something and promise to the public, but then not deliver? Duke Nuk’em for good anyone? In reality the self driving automobile has guaranteed to the public as far back as 1939.

Im actually unsure what to think about it, I will understand getting really truly pumped up about a project simply to have it not pan out. But it’s’s been over 80 years-where’s my goddamn car?! There are so many high tech gizmos and products that haven’t ever been released, that there are whole blogs devoted to all the wacky things we should have owned. Or that we did manage to possess, but the product turned out to suck such a lot that the company went under. A nice example of this were ‘videophones’, literally phones with a small screen showing you the person you were talking to, and have truly existed since the sixties. Obviously their very high price and rotten visible quality have lead them to be nearly non-existent.

One phonephone product publicized but we unfortunately failed to see was the ATT wrist phonephone in 1993, or actually all versions of the wrist phone. I suppose shoppers at last didn’t want to appear like secret agents infrequently mumbling into their sleeves. I guess we’ll be more relaxed with that on our space resort being handed a mimosa by our robot maid. Right before we food down on our DNA data pill and copied food ( Hopefully MIT will perfect that ‘Cornucopia:Digital Gastronomy project soon ).

Then again, they could just show up in different forms. Scientists have been making efforts to make a safe exaggerate since the sixties. Last year we saw the coming of E-Cigs, all three hundred or so brands. Or they may develop, like cd’s into minidisks and minidisks into trash. I do not know, we almost certainly will not have underwater towns or a gizmo we walk into that gives us a bath in a beam anytime soon…Or ever. More than anything, I just desire my automatic vehicle. Then turn that auto into a time-traveling vehicle.

Then go back to 1993 and give my seven year old self that automatic auto, thus causing a paradox which will eventually unravel time and implode the universe.

But damn it, I’ll have that automatic auto.

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